A few months ago when I mentioned to the Vice Chair of our Village Action Group my
desire to further extend my influence in the community, according to a diary
reference I have just now located, I anticipated an imminent opportunity. It is
not in my nature to dwell upon delayed prospects, of course. Not to mention
inexplicable tardiness. Yet such a belated response to an overwhelmingly
generous proposition is mightily discouraging. My numerous commitments encroach
upon a significant amount of my time and I do not make such offers lightly.
Nevertheless, I am pleased to have - albeit belatedly - joined the Board of
Governors of the village school. My aspirations extend to the position of
Chair, of course.
Although I have so far attended but an initial meeting, there is
clearly a wealth of issues to tackle. The slovenly attitude of the outgoing
Governor is no loss and, if my fellow Governors care to follow my paradigm of
energy and enthusiasm, I am convinced the establishment has the capability of
enhancing its existing, somewhat average, reputation. I sincerely hope so.
During our gathering - to which I took a quantity of Cook's
excellent shortbread together with some elderflower tisane, the former rapidly
consumed while the latter was disregarded in favour of excessively sweetened
tea - I suggested utilising the opportunity to share a brace of proposals which
I have been cultivating during the summer months.
Sadly, the agenda did not specifically permit the discussion of
such far reaching proposals as the advantages of installing an adult presence
at the school gates in order to deter lunchtime absondence. Heaven knows what
tempts the youths to leave the school premises what with a plethora of
stimulating activities available. On which subject I would be delighted to organise
an intensive Conduct and Deportment Workshop for those young ladies who need to
learn that skirt length is intrinsically linked to academic achievement.
Yet my innovative suggestions were not particularly welcome.
Indeed, by the end of our intercourse I was a trifle suspicious that my colleagues were displaying a degree of reticence about endorsing new
initiatives. A little lobbying via my legendary Farthing Hall morning coffee
gatherings should, however, furnish me with the appropriate juncture to
persuade them to adopt my principles.
In
the meantime, word has reached me of mutterings encompassing an outrageous rule
which restricts Governor appointments to ex pupils. Such a preposterous notion!
Having attended the finest boarding school in the land my demeanour and
protocol far exceed those of my working class associates who clearly lurched
through their precious State education system only to emerge with barely the
rudiments of social etiquette.
