tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3161890562473031642024-03-13T23:43:39.519-07:00Opinions and PearlsThe Musings of Lady Margaret Gosworthy-PringleThe Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-19413337220432903532018-07-02T01:56:00.001-07:002018-07-02T01:56:29.694-07:00Godfather Aristotle and Josiah Wedgwood
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is no doubt my ongoing exuberance for the delightful
craftsmanship spawned by Josiah Wedgwood Esquire and his porcelain empire is as <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">fervent as ever. Dear Godfather Aristotle initially introduced
me to the white on saxon blue design. Indeed, it was he who <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">presented me with my first piece. The occasion, as I recall,
being a modest celebration following completion of my inaugural watercolour of <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Farthing Hall. The gilt framed artwork still hangs in the
Library where Papa proudly unveiled The Masterpiece (as it become known,
despite my <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">protestations) before - notwithstanding my tender years -
permitting me a sip of champagne.Such a gay aura infused the Hall that evening.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the intervening decades my Godfather oftentimes related the
tale behind this purchase. Apparently, whilst journeying through Staffordshire
- <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">not a regular route for him though a passion for his property
portfolio occasionally took him to less familiar counties - he offchance came
upon </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">the pottery premises. Eager to honour me with a keepsake from a
most successful trip, he insisted on acquiring what became one of my most <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">precious jewellery items. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not surprisingly, the Classic Pin Head has remained in my
affection ever since.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Such a munificent act was typical of my Godfather, of course. He
exuded refined taste. Though that is no more than one would expect from a <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">gentleman with connections to European aristocracy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Only recently, whilst spending a satisfying morning perusing
those contents nestling in the velvet lined mahogany jewellery box I inherited <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">from my maternal grandmother, I came upon yet another cherished
gift: a Classic Muse Brooch ensemble. For Godfather Aristotle ensured he <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">took an annual trip to the aforementioned county, always
returning from said journeys with a keepsake for his favourite
Goddaughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">His demise a year or two ago sadly resulted in the stagnation of
my collection. In a bid to revive it, however, the other day over a <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">smoked salmon luncheon accompanied by the most delightful
Chablis which we imported from our vineyard in France last year, I speculated <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">as to the possibility of The Master contemplating a northern
trip. Unfortunately, he explained, what with his business commitments in <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">the Capital and obligations to his Club, opportunities to fit in
random shopping expeditions to unfamiliar counties simply do not arise.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-49687087531024322132018-06-01T01:46:00.000-07:002018-06-01T01:46:18.377-07:00Dust Sheet Debacle
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The presence of
tradesmen in Farthing Hall – a frequent occurrence since preserving standards
is imperative - inevitably generates challenges, I find. This morning offers a
fine example. As I was exiting my Jewellery Room, having selected my favourite
ruby ensemble which complements my chosen jersey twin set with such clarity, I spotted
an overalled youth wandering the corridor. Given that he was some considerable distance
from the refurbishment area, I confronted him aside the aspidistra.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He justified his
presence by insisting he’d lost his bearings whilst negotiating the west wing. I
directed him to the servants’ staircase, made a mental note to dissuade Cook
from being so generous to labourers and headed for the gift wrapping room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I crossed the
threshold, however, I was overcome with displeasure. Indeed a lingering aroma
of hand printed wallpaper and bespoke paint did imply a measure of progress.
Yet instead of appreciating newly honed <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">décor</i>,
my gaze was drawn to swathes of unacceptably filthy fabric which coated my
weave, my bureau and my custom-made walnut with suede inlay shelving. Curled
edges of said fabric revealed a multitude of stains on both sides.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The function of
dust sheets is to offer a resting place on which the result of labour can
accumulate. Yet what I fail to understand is their lack of cleanliness. Surely
regular removal of grime is crucial? For otherwise dirt is merely left to infuse
those very items the fabric is designed to protect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This preponderance
of filth and air borne particles ingratiating themselves upon my belongings
induced much angst on my part. In truth, a resolution to personally purchase
fresh ones came perilously close. Yet this is far from my responsibility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Meantime, a
brace of workers acknowledged my presence. The more responsible of the two
(though, in all honesty, the difference was marginal) engaged his listening
skills when I vocalised my disaste of dirt riddled equipment. Yet his subsequent
incomprehension at my grievance prompted a ripple of angst the like of which I
have not experienced since a chandelier restorer attempted to convince me he
could cleanse my finials for a mere three figure sum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Who
knows, I emphasised, what germs could be invading Farthing Hall and smearing my
treasures with infested grime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
went on to suggest, in as authoritative manner as I could summon, the provision
of new cotton calico or, at the very least, the laundering of the present supply,
before the continuation of further work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
boy’s disdain was barely credible. The business, he enlightened me, is unable to
produce unsullied kit for every customer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
took a moment to remind him of the value of my patronage. His mother’s position
on the Embroidery Federation Committee and the local Council vacancy to which
his father publicly aspires was also mentioned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Pristine
dust sheets, he murmured, will be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">in situ</i>
tomorrow morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-26622048895071563122018-04-30T23:41:00.001-07:002018-04-30T23:41:04.932-07:00Unkempts Herbs and Lady Garden Undergrowth
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">How
I adore pottering around my raised beds when the sun’s rays adorn my lawns. Rodgers,
our ageing Head Gardener, has done a splendid job over the years though I cannot
help but notice the herbaceous borders are in danger of overshadowing my
forking larkspur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Upon further, more
detailed inspection, indeed, I note the shabbiness of my lady garden; it has
clearly been denied periodic trimming. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My disappointment,
momentarily abated by the evocative call of a lone mistle thrush, returns with
vigour when I observe that the bird baths not only lack fresh water but reveal a
somewhat unkempt exterior.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Yet matters
further deteriorate when I venture beyond the box hedges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I must take Rodgers to task for allowing the herbs to proliferate in
such an unstructured fashion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Being a
kitchen garden is no excuse for disarray. Indeed, it is of no surprise that Cook’s new
assistant was unable to locate the oregano on Saturday evening. Though how she could have selected borage as an
acceptable substitute, I cannot imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is hardly to be wondered that the beef failed to reach an acceptable standard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully, my guests - local dignitaries
from the Enterprise Award Scheme – were not blessed with the most sophisticated
of palettes and therefore remained unaware of the herbal mishap. (They may have originated from the lower end
of the social strata, but I am grateful they limited their use of napkins to
the correct facial function. I still
recall that ghastly incident last year when a despicable representative from
the Mayor’s Office blew his wretched nose on my starched linen.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">In the
meantime Cook must take her supervisory role a little more seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have another dinner engagement a week
hence and I do not want a repeat of this culinary <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">débâcle</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indeed I will see
to it that she details to her young charge both the location and merits of our
wide range of free range herbs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
far as the gardens are concerned, this shameful situation cannot be allowed to
continue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shall invite Rodgers to
partake of a pot of coffee with me in the orangery tomorrow morning and use the
occasion to air my increasing unease over my foliage and his commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The standards of Farthing Hall’s gardens, I
will stress, are not negotiable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The simple
question is whether or not he has the desire to retain the responsibility of managing
my undergrowth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-91690466001309540152018-04-03T00:33:00.002-07:002018-04-03T00:33:20.857-07:00Blemishes and Tarnishing
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Frankly, I am most
disappointed. Standards are slipping and I have had to call on all my reserves
as an employer and archetypal mistress of the house to retain a modicum of
sanity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">In short, my silverware has never been so tarnished. The candelabra are
overrun with fingerprints, giving the family heirlooms an aura of common
bric-a-brac. Such slackness should have been avoided. Each member of the
cleaning staff is given clear and concise instructions at the onset of their
employ as to my requirements, cotton gloves to be worn whilst dusting being one
of the most imperative. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Who knows what damage a young girl’s pasty digits have caused to my
beloved father’s wine stopper? His demise is almost a blessing given that he is
unable to witness such second rate values.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Revised instructions will be compiled and posted prominently in the servant
quarters and in the meantime extra duties are paramount. I expect my silver
salvers to be gleaming by the end of the week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The debacle prompts me to examine the main guest quarters where the brass
with mother of pearl inlay fountain pen holder has clearly received no more
than a cursory wipe and now appears decidedly second rate. Thank heavens no
influential visitors have required an overnight stay since my last in-depth
inspection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Of course, if I had not been lately so preoccupied with charity matters,
I would surely have noticed the blemishes. I make a diary note to continue with
regular, though unannounced, assessments until I am satisfied that buffing levels
are of an acceptable standard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-73940478219452228112018-02-28T23:34:00.000-08:002018-02-28T23:34:06.022-08:00Ideals and Expectations
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That references form an integral prerequisite of the recruitment
process is a given. Never have I employed a member of staff - even one below
stairs - without first availing myself of their moral standards, willingness to
adhere to rules and personal principles via a preceding employer. Should a
prospective Chambermaid harbour any distasteful flaws, or Under Housekeeper
endeavour to conceal a dishonest defect or two, then I expect to unearth such
transgressions for, doubtless, such minutiae will play an important role in
influencing my decision whether or not to offer the candidate a coveted
position at Farthing Hall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A lack of referees accompanying a job application, therefore,
invokes an air of suspicion on my part. I am, you see, in the process of
replacing a Scullery Maid. The previous occupant fulfilled her obligations
admirably but has decided on an adjustment to her career. The Antipodes
beckons, apparently. The notion of journeying with little more than a rucksack
was touched upon during her exit interview for why any young lady would choose
to voyage without the assurance of a silk lined leather trunk and hotel in
which afternoon tea takes precedence over bar based entertainment, eludes me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Still, her decision made, I at once contacted Quality
Appointments to The Gentry Agency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Disappointingly, their initial candidates bordered on mediocre. Clearly
my demand for someone with experience went unnoticed. Cleansing and scouring
may, to the unversed, be unskilled tasks but I venture that attention to
detail, not to mention physical robustness, is essential in fulfilling my
expectations.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A second batch did, I confess, reflect a modicum of improvement,
at least in terms of basic competence. Yet I note several Curriculum Vitae
failed to list referees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Should such a transgression prompt me to conclude this to be
their first such appointment or, rather, that a prior role was so inadequately
executed to deny the appearance of a testimonial?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Further calls to the Agency proved to be unduly lengthy and
simultaneously frustrating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I insisted I
had no intention of inviting candidates for interview without prior sight of a
hand written endorsement. Twice during our exchange the telephone line clicked
into inaction forcing me to redial whilst making a mental note to contact the
Telephone Exchange. I will report the fault later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Meanwhile, this negative encounter has impelled me to bypass agencies. Instead, I will rely on my society equals. Hopefully they will either recommend an alternative organisation -
one which still prides itself on established values - or even be in a position
to personally recommend a replacement.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If there is one thing that this debacle has proved, it is that
ideals and expectations rarely infiltrate the class divide.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-26445868162405764452018-02-01T00:21:00.001-08:002018-02-01T00:21:52.798-08:00Bentley, Marmande tomatoes and top shelf magazines
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">My Bentley is
undergoing a spot of maintenance work today. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only after extensive deliberation did I
resolve to permit a nearby, independent enterprise to undertake the labour. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Previously, our London dealer has undertaken
any necessary overhaul of our vehicles but with the economy under sufferance -
at least according to gossip I overheard at a recent Demise of Subservience Discussion
Group - I am eager to declare my support of local businesses. I trust their
professionalism matches their eagerness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The proprietor appreciated my
commission and, indeed, offered to dispatch an underling to collect the
vehicle. Unwilling to allow an adolescent in oily overalls to indulge in a motoring
experience way beyond his calling, however, I drove the car to the garage this
morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">On my meander back to Farthing Hall I took the opportunity to
call upon several retail outlets in the village. A rare but thoughtful gesture and
one much appreciated, no doubt, by those shopkeepers whose products I procured.
Yet not all the choices on offer fully met my expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">In the bakery, for instance, I purchased a granary batch ‘baked
on the premises’ though heaven knows where it else it could have been cooked. The
adjacent trader, a greengrocery, was also singularly unimpressive. Being most
unhappy with the original choice of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Marmande</i>
tomatoes made by the owner, I determined to handpick a pound and a half from
the more succulent selection tucked away at the rear of the counter. I trust my
reprimand will prevent the reoccurrence of this display débâcle. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">My final destination was a crowded news agency. And a most distressing
visit this turned out to be. For I was forced to suppress my shock at the sight
of a number of top shelf magazines which must surely be illegal imports and
certainly warrant a stern letter to my MP whence I returned to the Hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Nevertheless, undeterred, and having composed myself aside
the broadsheets, I chose a number of quality glossy journals which I hand
delivered to the surgery. The alarmingly youthful looking GP accepted my
donation. Such a pity he demonstrated marginal distress at being called away
from a patient. Given the ageing and inferior array of periodicals in the
waiting area, I’m astonished he didn’t show more gratitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 200%;">Following an afternoon of intense correspondence, at 4pm,
just as a fragrant tisane moistened my lips, I received a telephone call from a
young apprentice informing me that my motor vehicle would be returned to me
within the hour. Only if the manager himself is behind the wheel, I insisted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-20192102860292756542018-01-02T02:01:00.002-08:002018-01-02T02:01:47.149-08:00Ongoing Duties
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have begun the New Year with a
much needed assessment of my Charity and Community Commitments. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given the demands upon my time - ongoing and relentless
committee obligations not to mention the occasional lecture for how unselfishly
eager I am to share my skills with less knowledgeable villagers - I have taken
on the duty of monitoring my diary. Further clashes are to be avoided at all
costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How grateful I was for The
Master’s forgiveness when his post Boxing Day shoot conflicted with the raking of
my internal labyrinth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The débacle would never have
arisen, of course, but for the inefficiency of my junior administrator. Had I
not repeatedly told her to distinguish between mine and The Master’s duties?
Why, I even purchased two tones of writing implement. Such a shoddy attitude
has been noted in her personnel records and henceforth I will mastermind my own
diary entries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Meanwhile I have taken to
compiling several lists. The first consists of organisations whose function would
be unfeasible without my guidance (Rub and Buff for the Inexperienced – an
ongoing series of workshops revolving around brass maintenance) and The League
of Traditional Housewifery to name but two). A second inventory is devoted to
institutions such as the Parish Council and Church. I have, for some years,
provided each with a backbone in terms of well informed opinion and refreshments
(though I will no longer waste imported Jasmine tea on individuals whose preference
is rationed to powdered leaves confined within what I can only describe as
flimsy packaging). Whilst yet another inventory contains those societies whose
practical assistance is matched only by my determination to raise standards. Some
improvements were recorded towards the end of last year. On one unannounced
inspection of porches, for instance, I was pleased to witness the majority had
recently been swept if not washed. A written reminder posted through a number
of letterboxes prompted somewhat belated action in the remaining households.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After weighing up my commitments,
however, I am currently nursing a dilemma. Although I had probed the notion of
stepping down from one or two organisations, how could I possibly abandon my
duties without stimulating an unnecessary plummeting of values? The core of
village life cannot be abandoned. I will, therefore, retain all my committee
roles, doubtless to the infinite gratification of the community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-66830463558093147862017-12-01T01:54:00.002-08:002017-12-01T01:54:31.439-08:00Gift Wrapping for the Unskilled
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Never could I have predicted such shockingly shoddy
dexterity. Why, some of my learners could barely rule a straight baseline let
alone finger their broad edged nib with a tangible degree of care and competency.
Only one hour into my Gift Wrapping for the Unskilled and there was no denying my
meticulously planned workshop required modification. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had
anticipated that calligraphy endorsed gift tags would provide a stimulating
opening to the day’s proceedings. I even opted for the Foundational Alphabet which
is not only one of the calligraphic basics, its name would surely provide a
psychological incentive to those unused to handling delicate writing implements.
Such a pity the group failed to rise to my expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I suggested
an early tea break and beckoned my kitchen helpers – over indulging in village
gossip aside the urn to the detriment of their duties – to bring forward the
Earl Grey and Garibaldis. Perhaps an infusion of refreshments might rouse an
element of creativity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When
everyone was finally persuaded to reconvene (thank heavens for my last minute
decision to bring a servants’ bell) I chose the moment to launch into a mini
lecture about sanitation. Treat your nibs well, I advised, delay not in flushing
out your reservoirs and palettes must also be thoroughly cleansed after use. I
had rather hoped to witness a profusion of note taking. Presumably, however, the
attendees committed my advice to memory.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I then
exposed the women to a selection of quality wrap. Embossed with seasonal icons,
the customised paper included my personal monogram though I pointed out the
ease with which anyone present could design a bespoke style to reflect their
own heritage adding that all orders would result in a percentage being donated
to The Christmas Luncheon Fund. Some of the elderly villagers, I recently
discovered, rarely mobilise their ranges these days. Of course, such inexcusable
lethargy should not be encouraged yet, with the season of goodwill upon us, I
was resolute in my desire to help these indolent individuals.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Post Cook’s
asparagus quiche and rocket with rosemary infused dressing (some delegates
brought sandwiches which was acceptable; crisp trails and resulting odour were
not) heralded the start of the practical segment of the afternoon. I
demonstrated gift wrapping techniques and ribbon decor with unencumbered joy
for only my annual period in the west facing Gift Wrapping Room
could surpass such gratification. Finally, an hour was put aside for individual
mentoring and consultation; not only an opportunity to encourage personal
growth but, for me, the pleasure of sharing my expert knowledge. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A successful
day, I concluded, despite persistent chitchat which forced me to deliver several
rebukes. Nevertheless, I am confident that my ladies will henceforth enhance
their Christmas gifts with uniquely stylish presentation. Indeed, I may
consider making this workshop an annual event. For it would be irresponsible of
me not to share my skills.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-53924429933896413202017-11-01T02:44:00.001-07:002017-11-01T02:45:50.535-07:00Sparklers and Canapes<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Celebrating the demise of that outrageous fellow, Guido Fawkes,
has been a Gosworthy-Pringle ritual since my early childhood. Mama, in her
wisdom, annually turned a blind eye to my sneaking out of bed in order to view
the distant beacon from the balcony of my suite. For, like her, it stirred an
enthusiasm in history. Indeed, I would have chosen to study the subject if my
Boarding School's curriculum hadn't insisted upon other priorities.
Regrettable, perhaps, yet I wager the Humanities could never have offered as
much valuable and practical application as have Needlepoint and Deportment
during the intervening decades.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Still, the interest spawned during my formative years continues
prompting me to coordinate the reintroduction of more traditional revelry.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Firstly, as I insisted at our initial Village Committee meeting
- to which all the local dignitaries I had summoned turned up with the
exception of the Parish Council Deputy Chair; I highlighted said absence via
the Flower Arranging Guild's Autumn Newsletter - the modern term Bonfire Night
reflects neither the quality nor gravitas of our festivity. It is right,
therefore, to rekindle Guy Fawkes Night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Although there was considerable pressure exerted upon me to host
this year's event at Farthing Hall, clearly the Master would never tolerate
commoners trampling his precious lawns. We have, therefore, defaulted to the
village green, an area familiar to the working class community where they will
undoubtedly feel more at home than in the grounds of such a prestigious
residence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The venue being settled, I took it upon myself to draw up some
rules. Groups of youths are to be discouraged. In particular, I suggest there
should be no congregating around the soft drinks kiosk since this could, so
easily, engender unruly behaviour.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">In addition, sparklers will be limited to one packet per person.
Heaven knows, I harbour no desire to be responsible for over excited
adolescents.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The entry fee, I decided - and my colleagues, unable to propose
a viable alternative, soon concurred - should be by donation to a charitable
venture. And what better recipient than the nearby Residence for Retired
Butlers which was, I am proud to confess, founded by my paternal grandfather?
He was such a visionary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Other tasks are in hand. I have ordered a plentiful supply of
Catherine Wheels and Rockets. I just hope the local dairy is able to donate
sufficient milk bottles to cope with demand for they seemed genuinely perplexed
at my request. Meantime, one of my fellow Committee members has been dispatched
to purchase matches while Cook has kindly offered to contribute a selection of
canapes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am, I confess, overjoyed at the prospect of such merriment.
Given the success it will, of course, be, I expect to continue organising such events for the foreseeable future.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-74329070469725950312017-10-02T04:45:00.005-07:002017-10-02T04:45:44.475-07:00Harvest Memories
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">This is the time
of year that evokes one of my dearest childhood memories – that of Cook permitting
me to pop beribboned containers of homemade grouse paté into the bespoke hamper
mother annually donated to The Home for Fallen Women and their Subsequently Disadvantaged
Status. Harvest Festival has ranked highly in my affection ever since.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yet, as the seasonal celebration
approaches, I am experiencing an unequivocal quandary. And one, in all
probability, I am surely honour bound to resolve. For The Parish Church’s
imminent service leads me to recall with acute dismay last autumn’s offerings
which, frankly, were barely tolerable. Indeed, I recall remonstrating with the newly
appointed Vicar, enlightening her of my sure knowledge that a number of local families
had the ability, though clearly not the desire, to delve a little deeper into
their larders, as well as their wallets. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">So, determined as I am to ensure the debacle is not repeated,
I will shortly indulge in a spot of casual canvassing in order to prompt a more
acceptable level of generosity around the Parish. A tiresome task, encouraging
donations, but nevertheless one I feel compelled to undertake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I mentioned my calling to the Vicar yesterday
following her somewhat belated acceptance of my invitation to morning coffee.
Though a demanding schedule precluded her from staying little more than eleven
and a half minutes, I used the time effectively by airing my discord concerning
her pulpit plea for non perishable goods. Surely, I implored, given the obvious
need for vitamins amongst the deprived classes, more attention should be focussed
on freshly edible offerings. Her politeness warranted praise though her doggedness
in refusing to take on board my unquestionable familiarity with village life
less so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I shall, therefore, plough my own field
this year as I have no more intention of contributing packaged food than I
would venture from the privacy of my private quarters without pearls. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Meanwhile, I have despatched Rodgers to call upon a number of
purveyors since a supply of sturdy boxes is paramount. With a multitude of
fruit ripening in the orchard, robust containers will ensure my award winning heritage
pears remain blemish-free until their delivery to, and consumption by, the
needy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Only then will my Harvest wishes be sated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-44999786758258748052017-09-01T01:38:00.002-07:002017-09-01T01:38:48.940-07:00Academic Duties
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A few months ago when I mentioned to the Vice Chair of our Village Action Group my
desire to further extend my influence in the community, according to a diary
reference I have just now located, I anticipated an imminent opportunity. It is
not in my nature to dwell upon delayed prospects, of course. Not to mention
inexplicable tardiness. Yet such a belated response to an overwhelmingly
generous proposition is mightily discouraging. My numerous commitments encroach
upon a significant amount of my time and I do not make such offers lightly.
Nevertheless, I am pleased to have - albeit belatedly - joined the Board of
Governors of the village school. My aspirations extend to the position of
Chair, of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Although I have so far attended but an initial meeting, there is
clearly a wealth of issues to tackle. The slovenly attitude of the outgoing
Governor is no loss and, if my fellow Governors care to follow my paradigm of
energy and enthusiasm, I am convinced the establishment has the capability of
enhancing its existing, somewhat average, reputation. I sincerely hope so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During our gathering - to which I took a quantity of Cook's
excellent shortbread together with some elderflower tisane, the former rapidly
consumed while the latter was disregarded in favour of excessively sweetened
tea - I suggested utilising the opportunity to share a brace of proposals which
I have been cultivating during the summer months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sadly, the agenda did not specifically permit the discussion of
such far reaching proposals as the advantages of installing an adult presence
at the school gates in order to deter lunchtime absondence. Heaven knows what
tempts the youths to leave the school premises what with a plethora of
stimulating activities available. On which subject I would be delighted to organise
an intensive Conduct and Deportment Workshop for those young ladies who need to
learn that skirt length is intrinsically linked to academic achievement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yet my innovative suggestions were not particularly welcome.
Indeed, by the end of our intercourse I was a trifle suspicious that my colleagues were displaying a degree of reticence about endorsing new
initiatives. A little lobbying via my legendary Farthing Hall morning coffee
gatherings should, however, furnish me with the appropriate juncture to
persuade them to adopt my principles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In
the meantime, word has reached me of mutterings encompassing an outrageous rule
which restricts Governor appointments to ex pupils. Such a preposterous notion!
Having attended the finest boarding school in the land my demeanour and
protocol far exceed those of my working class associates who clearly lurched
through their precious State education system only to emerge with barely the
rudiments of social etiquette.</span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-64375620608252880632017-08-01T00:45:00.001-07:002017-08-01T00:45:12.258-07:00Horticulture
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Plans are afoot
to expose my rear access. Frankly, this was not part of my initial aspiration
when I offered Farthing Hall as a venue for a pioneering village horticultural
event. Yet the growing possibility of the local community scrutinizing my main
entrance was simply too much to bear. I may be of some standing in the area and,
as such, willing to host the Show (the first of an undoubtedly regular summer occasion),
but I do not wish my private approach to be on public display.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hence
the decision to steer visitors along one of the previously defunct tradesmen’s
routes. This will not provide as stunning a vista as when perambulating the cedar
lined drive, admittedly, though I trust an appropriate willingness to contain
disappointment will be in order. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Of course,
the refurbishment is in danger of bestowing undue burden upon my gardening
contingent. I have therefore selected an additional workforce to offer assistance.
Terms of temporary employment have been agreed. Once satisfactory references
are within my safekeeping, the recruits will be under instruction to revive the
entrance used by delivery boys of old. It has become remarkably unkempt of late
and I refuse to stint on first impressions. After all, a fine floral display is
paramount in order to reflect the quality of the inaugural event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Meanwhile, I have invited
representatives from a nearby printing establishment to visit me at noon today
in order to discuss the programme design. In point of fact, a draft schedule
has already been compiled. This includes one of my rather charming pencil sketches
of the magnificent magnolia grandiflora which I frequently appreciate from the
parterre. Admittedly, I did not invest much time on said illustration. My
schedule simply precludes such luxuries. I hardly need add, however, that it reflects
my usual artistic standard and will, therefore, make an excellent front cover.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>From mutterings below stairs, of
which I became aware only this morning, I learn that a youth of a reporter from
our regional newspaper has got wind of my project. That is all well and good,
but I will not have a fledgling journalist exploiting either my premises or
horticultural exhibition to further his career. I have assured the company’s Group
Director, whose wife I fleetingly encountered at a recent sherry decanting
workshop, that I will not only submit my own article covering the day’s
activities, but will ensure it is delivered to the Editor. By hand, of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-27084670755722024152017-07-03T02:25:00.003-07:002017-07-03T02:25:45.100-07:00Backhanders, Havannas and Double Handed Lobs
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">My passion for, and commitment to, that most
quintessential English celebration which infuses my diary at this time of year
is well documented. And rightly so. I have been a regular attendee of The All
England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club since Papa first settled me on a velvet
seat in the Royal Box. He may have momentarily popped down to the locker room
to partake of a hand rolled Havanna or two with HRH, but his absence was
sufficiently lengthy for me to cultivate what quickly became a lifelong ardor
for backhanders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yet despite
my obligations, I have been obliged to return to The Hall where, with more than
a </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">soupçon</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> of displeasure, I find myself
undertaking crucial work for the Village Fête. It is all quite intolerable at such
a late stage. Indeed, the event may have been my inspiration but, really,
despite an initial and healthy burst of enthusiasm from the ladies of the
village, the Committee has dwindled to myself (Chair), the Deputy Librarian who
rarely attends our weekly meetings despite my frequent postal reminders, and
the local Meals on Wheels representative, who turns out to be more mince and
mash than scones and cream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>With
the celebration a mere two weeks hence, planning time is now of the essence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Immediately
after perusing today’s luncheon menu, therefore, I contacted a number of
potential benefactors to persuade them of our need for both quality and copious
raffle prizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forward to the
arrival of appropriate deliveries from my chosen donors. Heaven knows, if the
county’s Care Home is to stand the remotest chance of replacing those blemished
mattresses, generosity is paramount.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
subsequent task involved penning a note to the village school Headmistress
requesting further details of her somewhat courageous suggestion of a fancy
dress competition. There were mutterings, reported to me by Cook, that a
cluster of senior girls, overflowing with unregulated hormones, were contemplating
transforming the event into something akin to a St Trinians <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">débacle</i>. Clearly, there is no room in
village life for such outlandish behaviour. I shall do my utmost to ensure both
skirt lengths and conduct remain within the boundaries of polite society. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
far as catering is concerned, Farthing Hall will, of course, lead the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kitchen staff are fully aware of my
expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
a somewhat exhausting day, reasonable headway in both marquee <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">décor</i> and ticket design has, I believe, been
achieved. Barring any unforeseen hitches, I shall return to the Championships
after breakfast tomorrow. The Master is likely to accompany me. After all, there’s
nothing that satisfies him more than the occasional double handed lob.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-29035285301457576322017-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:002017-06-01T00:00:07.647-07:00Arts Extravaganza
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Farthing
Hall’s Arts Extravaganza is under threat of infiltration by crocheted paper
handkerchief box covers of insipid hues. Such blandness wreaks of charity shop status.
Indeed, so does the telltale odour. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I might well have anticipated such influx. For recently,
whilst ordering a tin of ointment for The Master’s furuncle which has yet again
surrendered to unregulated distension, my attention in the pharmacy was
diverted by nearby mention of yarn remnants. I glanced around to witness a
couple of helpers from the Tea for the Retired Afternoon Club who were rather
too loudly vocalising their views. If only they embraced their washing up
duties with such verve. The topic of their excitement soon became apparent: Caring
for The County’s Women of Disrepute outlet’s box of random skeins. Leftovers
from indeterminate origins, I would say. The wool, if not those females whose
morals have long since deserted them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It seems a number of other villagers
have also been making similar purchases. Their resultant lilac, pastel pink and
sky blue offerings are now littering my orangery. How they clash with the
Italian marble décor! I cannot imagine anyone yearning to purchase these items.
Yet nevertheless I am honour bound to coordinate a display. A discreet position
will be found where they will not distract those attendees - and there will be
a profusion - expecting quality works of art created by professional exhibitors.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To this end, I have been in touch
with creative groups throughout the county. Doubtless they are all eager to be
included in my exposition. The inspiration first presented itself during one of
our weekly Arts for the Gifted masterclasses, an initiative I established after
experiencing undue frustration on a previous course which, had I realised it came
under the jurisdiction of the Local Authority, would have been disinclined to
attend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, at the aforementioned
masterclass, over a cup of Earl Grey with an accompanying Rich Tea biscuit
during a break in finalising my latest landscape, the Arts Extravaganza notion
presented itself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I delayed not in undertaking the organisation.
A number of colleagues of similar artistic enthusiasm – though inferior
execution - were recruited. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I, of course, have undertaken the
bulk of the work. Catering and decor, sherry and canapés fall within my
jurisdiction. Artists and their agents similarly liaise directly with me. That
my pre dinner drinks were last night disturbed by a query over easel
positioning matters not. A little persuasion to call at a more reasonable time
- avoiding morning coffee, luncheon and afternoon tea – will surely be met with
consideration. That is, if they wish to remain part of this most prestigious
event.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-53051690818960812952017-05-01T00:49:00.002-07:002017-05-01T00:49:23.804-07:00Swearing In
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">What an invigorating day and
one culminating in equal measures of exhilaration and reward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only to me personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe society will also benefit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">I
refer, of course, to the Swearing-In of the new High Sheriff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will prove to be a most worthy appointment,
of that I am certain, hence my unshakable backing of his tenure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">It
is high time a traditionalist returned to office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year some do-gooder more akin to left
wing shenanigans than solemnity and duty took on this historic role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indeed, I can still barely believe that the
incumbent was of female variety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank
heavens society’s equilibrium has now been restored.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">In
addition, I am also pleased that the new High Sheriff acted upon my recommendation
of a military tailor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>True, the premises
of the custom clothier, being on the far side of the county, involved a lengthy
journey but, frankly, the resulting velvet jacket and breeches, gauntlet cuffs,
three pointed pocket flaps and black hose were worth every mile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HS cut quite a dashing figure, in fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His choice of gloves - cotton in preference
to kid - I will continue to question, yet he kept a firm hand on his cocked hat
so I could ask for no more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">The
County Assizes based ceremony was brief by official standards.Thankfully the
weather proved loyal for the town parade which followed. Some citizens unfortunately appeared to regard
the procession as nothing more than an opportunity to stare without restraint
or respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand such behaviour
is quite commonplace nowadays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">By
way of support to our new High Sheriff, I insisted on offering Farthing Hall as
a venue for the obligatory Reception which followed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Members of the judiciary were in attendance,
along with the Under Sheriff, one or two of our more respectable Councillors, several
business entrepreneurs with a leaning to charity affiliation and the Editor-in-Chief
of our local newspaper consortium.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
trust the latter will carry front page coverage of the event in next week’s
edition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Despite
HS’s suggestion for a casual gathering, he eventually relented at my proposal
of a formal luncheon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These occasions
should, after all, be marked appropriately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I pointed out, it is not within everyone’s capability to juggle
canapés and drinks whilst conversing in intellectual dialogue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Particularly if they have failed to benefit from
attendance at Finishing School.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">The
afternoon concluded with a speech from the High Sheriff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He really is rather eloquent, a point I
mentioned to him prior to my suggestion for regular monthly
gatherings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would, after all, be
pleased to retain my association with, and offer guidance to, this figurehead of
our community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">He
appeared delighted at my proposal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet
being such early days he currently felt unable to commit to a date.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-89684751765315043392017-04-03T00:16:00.000-07:002017-04-03T00:16:28.409-07:00Easter Treats<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Much as I yearn for an era
when children associated Easter with spiritual matters rather than culinary
intake, I have decided to impart a measure of cheer to local, less privileged offspring.
I believe there are quite a number. No doubt the limited incomes of their
parents regularly stretch to procuring copious quantities of tobacco and
alcohol, of course, but then not everyone’s priorities are correctly aligned. Perhaps
the Chancellor’s recent budgetary announcements may in some way positively
influence the moral outlook of those parents who doubtless took on the role
with little forethought and even less planning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To this end I have advised the Vicar to include a modicum
of financial guidance in his Easter Sunday address. Such revelations might even
be transferred to printed pamphlets and popped through the letterboxes of those
properties displaying nicotine stained net curtains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Outreach at its basic level, I believe. The Reverend
assures me he is considering my proposal.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But to return to my hitherto mentioned project. I have
already summoned a number of retailers to Farthing Hall where, to my delight, they
assented to donate chocolate eggs. True, I was dissuaded from my initial
suggestion of distribution via means testing. Yet how I would have found the
time to undertake this task I cannot imagine what with my preoccupation collaborating
with a courier company. I trust the chosen driver is now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">en route</i> to the south coast where a shipment of Swiss chocolates is
awaiting delivery to The Hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In addition I rang the Headmistress of the village school
this morning and suggested that, as part of their Domestic Science syllabus,
children make and decorate their own chocolate eggs then arrange them in hand
woven baskets. This turned out to be a remarkably difficult conversation. To
have reached such a lofty position in charge of a school – albeit a State one -
without appreciating the negative impact of confrontation is incomprehensible.
I do hope she extends more politeness to her charges than she did to me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And now to my other seasonal duties. I have instructed the
Housekeeper to acquire fragrant soaps and towels. It is all very well for the
elderly to turn up for their ritual Maundy Thursday foot cleansing, but the
Vicar cannot be expected to sully his hands on grubby callouses.</span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-82484075690862280912017-03-01T01:55:00.000-08:002017-03-01T01:55:15.581-08:00Rhyme and Rhythm
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My decision to hand over Programme Coordinator
responsibilities will, forever, rankle. Tasked as I was with catering
necessities and dressing room decor, however, the impossibility of monitoring the
minutiae of performers was beyond even my legendary capabilities. Yet my
regrets remain manifold. The Poetry Evening was well attended, it is true, resulting
in sufficient takings to bolster the flagging coffers of the Church’s bank
account. Frittering away money on the Vicar’s penchant for organic bread must
not be tolerated when superior collecting receptacles are needed. I will
mention my priorities during our next impromptu morning coffee Tuesday hence at
ten o’clock. Indeed, I might even promote the idea of the Embroidery Guild taking on the
task of creating velvet pouches: rectangular ones to encourage banknotes and
round ones for coinage, the latter for those unfortunate members of the
congregation whose generosity is lacking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another positive result of the event was the take up
of flyers for my Tippet Tying Instruction. A number, I noticed, drifted into the
wastepaper basket though, judging by the sartorial inelegance evident during
the evening, I am confident of the need for accessory management. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nevertheless such misdemeanours are comparatively peripheral.
My original suggestion of a Poetry Evening encompassed honouring the delights
of Walter De La Mare and William Wordsworth. I should have known better when a
local youth tendered his organisational skills. It seems his offer to source
poets was no more than literary hijacking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With an appearance more gypsy than gent, the long
haired man I had witnessed loitering outside the Village Hall and whom I was
considering reporting to the local constabulary if not for being sidetracked by
wilting canapés (hardly surprising given the kitchen staff’s inattention to
sunlit surfaces) appeared on stage and, with excessive verve, delivered the
most racy language I have ever encountered. Equally shocking was the audience’s
enthusiastic response. There was but one saving grace: many attendees I failed
to recognise, having clearly journeyed from neighbouring estates (not the
landed variety).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hourly tisanes of peppermint tea throughout the event
neutralised my trauma. Performance poetry is a medium to which I had never
previously been exposed; I will ensure that I never am again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-8456354304783408742017-02-01T02:08:00.001-08:002017-02-01T02:08:35.980-08:00Back at the Helm
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I still recall with unseasoned distaste the demise of the Townswomen’s
Federation following their Treasurer’s mishandling of the Bring ‘n’ Buy stall’s
profits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The village fête remained
tainted for some while thereafter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
not only did the débâcle end in the sad decline of said organisation but also the
demise from polite society of the woman who, having been charged with overseeing
takings, could barely resist fondling the funds. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indeed, her downfall prompted the eventual
closure of the group. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Although at the time engaged with the overhaul of my colonnade, such
disarray in the community necessitated the need for an alternative professional
organisation and I delayed my personal itinerary for the greater good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Hence the founding of the Women’s Guild in whose establishment I played
an integral role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indeed I led by
example, taking on the inaugural post of Chair and only stepping aside when a
number of members reminded me that I had surpassed the three year maximum
tenure permitted by the Constitution. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">In the intervening period I have refrained from active involvement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet various shortcomings have been all too
obvious and I have become increasingly disenchanted by wavering standards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was with some relief, therefore, when I
learned of the forthcoming Chair vacancy. I duly registered my interest. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless of copious commitments, I will do
my utmost to restore the Guild’s status. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Voting will take place imminently. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is little doubt about the outcome, however,
and my plans for future organisational enhancement are already in hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Several new Committee appointments are to be confirmed imminently. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of women whom, I understand, expressed
an interest in my position but clearly lack the necessary leadership qualities,
will ideally suit the more minor roles of Refreshments Monitor and Stationery Officer.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sincerely hope my suggestions will be
unopposed at next week’s gathering. I would not want petty infighting to taint
proceedings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Once the formality of elections is completed, I shall concentrate on rearranging
this year’s programme. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My numerous
contacts will enable me to entice an abundance of speakers to address our
group, speakers capable of generating a
more proficient air to proceedings. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Local
do-gooders may experience a frisson of excitement at imparting their limited
knowledge of bland topics such as flower arranging, stamp collecting and the
like, but public speaking hardly falls into the same league as floristry and
philately. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hobbies such as these, I
suggest, are best savoured within the confines of one’s home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The Women’s Guild is of utmost significance to the village and I will
ensure its profile is rekindled accordingly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expect other members will share my
aspirations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">What joy to be back at the helm.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"></span> </div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"></span> </div>
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<br />
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-62414388438778820852017-01-02T04:01:00.000-08:002017-01-02T04:01:00.899-08:00New Year, New Under Butler<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A
fundamental aversion to embrace responsibilities is prevalent in Farthing Hall
forcing me to contemplate whether the handsome salary increases I sanctioned
just prior to the Millennium were made in error. Indeed, I once again find
myself recalling my dear Papa’s perspective: service is a calling, he
frequently asserted, and the standards of anyone who prioritises financial gain
or personal values over their station will eventually plummet to depths more usually
associated with the lower classes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To
be specific, I have been compelled to begin the New Year with the rather
distasteful yet, under the circumstances, wholly obligatory, act of dismissing
the Under Butler.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His
ethics were called into question during our recent Gosworthy-Pringle Gala
Dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All was progressing to plan: my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hors d’oeuvres</i> selection – initially frowned
upon by Cook in a quite unnecessary burst of culinary uncertainty – were much
enjoyed, if not commended, by guests whilst the temperature of my welcoming Manzanilla
Pasada sherry remained faultless. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yet,
despite such accomplishments, I will be forever tainted with the discomfiture
of witnessing Baronetess Beauchamp Beauford-Beaumont. As she took her place at
the mahogany dining table my parents commissioned during the second month of
their honeymoon tour of The Continent, I was on the point of sharing my utilisation
of smilax fern amongst the flower arrangements when I noted her gaze drawn to a
tarnished bouillon spoon. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Composure
never left her visage. I would expect no less. My own horror at the public
appearance of flawed silver cutlery, however, ruined my pleasure of this annual
occasion.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
following morning I summoned said Under Butler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He proffered various excuses, as one might expect: the pantry boy had distracted
him by seeking help to locate the condiments; a smear on his lower livery required
urgent attention. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
more he vocally floundered, the more I resolved that Farthing Hall would
benefit from his absence. Indeed, I have always found the act of grovelling rather
unsettling so I somewhat generously offered to provide a reference – modest, of
course - then sent him on his way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
fact that the Staff for the Aristocracy Agency remained closed until well into the
New Year caused me some irritation. (Do they truly believe employment issues
plunge into dormancy during the holiday season?) I left several succinct
messages on their answering machine which I followed up with a hand written
letter. At least they troubled to call me immediately upon reopening for
business.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
Agency is forwarding to me the personal details of a brace of worthy candidates. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Meantime,
I have set aside next week for interviews. Fosdyke, our septuagenarian Butler,
is keen to oversee the appointments, as is part of his remit. However, in order
to avoid any further mishaps, I have notified him of my intention to personally
decide the final appointment. </span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-88047189711603270642016-12-01T00:52:00.001-08:002016-12-01T00:52:44.552-08:00Festive Obligations<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">With the
festive season upon us, I am in the throes of my annual round of pre Christmas,
early evening drinks gatherings. For once again it is my duty to entertain
local groups and dignitaries at The Hall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Indeed, my hostess commitments, I note, increase on an annual
basis. This is mainly due to the many institutions whose inauguration I continue
to initiate, of course. And whilst it is true that some such bodies take a
while to gain momentum, I have always found a correctly worded, hand delivered
epistle or two stimulates sufficient interest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">This year I was obliged to commence social arrangements earlier
than usual as I have been frantically busy of late organising Christmas gift
parcels for the needy. Not that everything went to plan, a lack of efficiency
being far too commonplace in my experience. Yet despite my remonstrations there
has still been a lengthy delay in delivering the shoe polish and brush leather
bound gift sets for those needy people around the globe. I simply cannot
imagine their distress! Belated presents are no more acceptable than under
starched linen. Next year I will acquire my offerings from other, more
reliable, sources.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the meantime I have decided to call
upon my wine merchant in order to sample his wares and choose an acceptable
selection of sherry for our New Year’s Eve cocktail party. Being preoccupied with
an Extraordinary General Meeting of the Haberdashery Society last year, I
foolishly left the choice to the manager of said establishment. My
disappointment, nay surprise, at his assortment warranted a stern rebuke. He
clearly is as unfamiliar with the notion of Vintage as he is unwilling to
extend his education. New World, I remonstrated, equates to inferior quality. The
latter has no place at Farthing Hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Whilst on the premises, I will also take the opportunity to
request a deliverer who shows a little more diligence than their previous employee.
It has taken the housemaid months to eliminate a brace of scuff marks from my watercolour
infused cellar walls following last December’s fiasco. Not that the youth
displayed any regret for his carelessness. Indeed, I am still astonished he was
permitted to visit valuable customers without first scrubbing his soiled
digits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">To think he could have fingered my aperitif. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-53162371663080928422016-11-01T06:06:00.001-07:002016-11-01T06:06:07.221-07:00Seasonal Duties
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whilst the
duty of purchasing provisions<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>customarily falls within Cook’s remit, each November I savour the prospect of a
trip to the village when I personally acquire ingredients for my Christmas
puddings. Preparation begins on Stir Up Sunday, a ritual that has long been a
Gosworthy-Pringle tradition. As an impressionable young girl, indeed, this was
the one time of year when Mama granted me permission to access the bowels of
Farthing Hall. There I assisted Cook in washing and picking over bowls of
currants and sultanas before stoning a pound or two of raisins. How I recall my
euphoria when first handling a cleaver. Several ounces of mixed peel had never before
been so uniformly chopped.<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Such is my
fondness for the custom that the precious annual details are ritually
transferred to my calfskin monogrammed diary each New Year.)<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before
embarking upon my mission, I listed the necessary items. Heavens, their
familiarity requires little prompting yet the act of transcribing inevitably provokes
an invigorating level of exhilaration. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My shopping
assignment, however, served more to stem my enthusiasm than swell my dried
fruit. Suet was stocked neither in the ageing delicatessen nor boutique of a
food emporium that is more rustic superficiality than functional containers of ripened
ovaries of seed bearing plants. Nutmeg, I was assured, is only available in
powder form within small jars. Similarly, almonds are pre ground. Since one of my
pleasures is to crush said drupes to my required consistency, my disappointment
was tangible.<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Such an
unacceptable situation cannot be allowed to flourish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hence, whilst striding back to The Hall, I
determined to summon a meeting of the Parish Council to discuss villagers’
requirements and retailers’ priorities.<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Meanwhile I handed
over responsibility of acquiring pudding components to Cook, though that is by
no means the end of my involvement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In an
outreach gesture, I have decreed that mastication of my delightful Christmas
puddings will no longer be limited to seasonal Farthing Hall guests. Members of
The Promotion of Classic Garments in a Society of Falling Standards Association
are to benefit from the donation of more modest (in size, quality is to remain
unaffected) versions. Although the community was, initially, a little tardy in embracing
this recent haute couture initiative, my skills of persuasion have since
resulted in several housewives joining. In addition, I am compiling a growing
list of others who must be approached for I sense a spot of encouragement is required.
Members of the lower classes are, after all, rarely forthcoming in admitting their
flaws. It is likely that such women, whilst devoid of any tailoring instinct,
are equally failing in home economics. My input, therefore, will inevitably enhance
their lives on both levels. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-69641356604886899542016-10-03T01:50:00.000-07:002016-10-03T01:52:08.845-07:00Tricking and Treating<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">The season approaches when an astonishingly popular, yet somewhat
unnecessary, import from one of our ex colonies will once again infiltrate village
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I do not subscribe to this annual pastime known as, I
believe, Tricking and Treating. Indeed, only last month I lobbied the Parish
Council to actively deter outdoor pursuits during the hours of darkness when
youths should be in their drawing rooms perusing textbooks. Whilst the PC’s negative
response was disappointing, it is undoubtedly indicative of a universal
attitude designed to appease youngsters. Sadly, my vocal dissent was as
solitary as it was earnest. That is not to say my opinions weren’t shared by others,
of course, only that some residents were probably precluded from taking up the
cause due to a lack of standing in society. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">So, given Halloween’s prevalence amongst the younger
generation, I feel it is incumbent upon me to lead the way. At least this will
proffer me the opportunity to raise standards. No doubt the local children will
revel in a rare opportunity to over indulge in boiled sweets and peppermints.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Hence, following my exchange with Cook - during which I made
one or two amendments to supper arrangements - I ventured into the village to
purchase a supply of edible treats. The purveyor of the sweet shop – a girl of
modest years and immodest hemline - seemed a little taken aback at my
preference and suggested the addition of a few chocolates might enhance my
batch. So I selected a quarter of dark almond truffles - a particular favourite
of my dear mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Upon returning to Farthing Hall and reminding Cook, yet again, that
accurate seasoning is the make or break of a béchamel sauce, thence headed for the
orangery to indulge my design instincts. The resulting pastel sketch is quite
delightful and will adorn the oak notice board adjacent to the lodge. It
clearly states the availability of treats is limited to between afternoon tea
and six o’clock. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I see no reason for this frightful foreign ritual to pervade an
evening I have assigned to tapestry work. The church kneelers are crying out
for attention and some strategically placed needlepoint will surely satisfy the
Vicar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">My insistence that youngsters should be dissuaded from
roaming the locality for treats has still not received the backing it deserves.
No matter. I have instead taken it upon myself to ensure that quality
confectionery is available via the servants' entrance at tea time. Along with
freshly starched linen napkins, of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-65632985779602026862016-08-31T05:47:00.001-07:002016-08-31T05:47:09.593-07:00Harvest Offerings
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Local produce.
Surely the prospect of a brace of double syllables being misconstrued is
negligible? Yet villagers continue to bombard me with queries that attest to
what I have long believed: their knowledge of freshly grown foodstuff is in
indirect proportion to their enthusiasm for inhaling tobacco. Not to mention alcohol
consumption at a nearby hostelry, a venue which adheres little to the licensing
laws. It is a crisis I will be taking up with the Leader of the Council when
his schedule eventually permits him to join me for afternoon tea. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the meantime,
I continue to advise, ‘local’ does indeed refer to our community. In addition, ‘produce’
denotes nutritionally ripe fare. My efforts are in aid of Harvest Festival
which will take place in the Parish Church. For the past year or two the Vicar
has restricted donations to tinned goods which have thereafter been shipped
across the world to nations which, with a little more diligence, should be
perfectly capable of cultivating their own rations. Lengthy transportation was
never part of the tradition of Harvest Festival hence my insistence that beneficiaries
should this season reside within the county. I used the opportunity of my
monthly morning coffee (a Sumatra and Java blend my importer was persuaded to
mix) with the clergy to mention the proposal. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rarely has discomfort so invaded Farthing Hall.
Yet never before have I witnessed a Vicar hovering on the periphery of
hysteria. Intellectually, geographically and emotionally, I pointed out - my natural
calmness a vehicle for restoring harmony - my proposal had merit. Yet some
moments passed before my idea was accepted. How I wish it had been embraced
with a little more gusto. Instead, I was left with the distasteful conviction that
sighing is but a reflection of immaturity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nevertheless, the
elderly of our community will benefit. A plethora of vitamins and minerals will
surely meet their requirements. Cleansing products and hygiene accessories
would not go amiss, it is true, but that is a challenge to be tackled on another
occasion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have selected
a retirement home - The Final Phase - whose residents, I observe from my
occasional ventures into the village, make a modicum of sartorial effort though
I doubt this includes changing for dinner. A diary note for next month will
prompt me to speak to the Manager on this latter point though for now my efforts
are focussed upon food donations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my still
life paintings, I have decided, will make the perfect backdrop to the food
collection at the Harvest Festival service. The Vicar uttered some minor
objection based on health and safety foolishness yet I hardly see how a gilt
frame could constitute a threat. Farthing Hall's Maintenance Manager will see that it is mounted
on an easel designed for such proportions. I cannot wait to see my artichoke
and quince with spinach backdrop nestling on Spode’s Delamere Rural atop the
altar. It will, of course, be the talking point of this year’s Harvest. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-69480008346261191992016-07-25T23:52:00.000-07:002016-07-25T23:52:35.627-07:00Bunting
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">can barely describe my
euphoria at the proliferation of bunting adorning the village this season. Doubtless
on other occasions such decor could well incite accusations of unnecessary
flamboyance. And rightly so. Yet this year patriotic emphasis is a must. I
concur with the local view that a fervent display of nationalism is quite in
order.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Not that those elected to oversee village jubilations
were originally quite so focused. When I first perused the minutes of the
Parish Council’s Extraordinary General Meeting – despite stepping down from
said body last year I have insisted the Secretary forwards a copy of all
paperwork – in which our elected members debated public beautification, I was
somewhat alarmed at the initial proposals. I mean, really, window stickers! As
I frequently insisted when chairing this vital body, the ability to access excessive
quantities of inferior objects at minimal rates does not make said articles an
acceptable choice. My hastily compiled – though simultaneously concise - epistle
reminded my ex colleagues of this most obvious fact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Thankfully, the Councillors took little persuasion to my proposals
and I am obliged to concede that my timely intervention prevented a public calamity.
For with minimal delay I was asked to assume the sourcing of alternative regalia
obliging me to rekindle the flagging Haberdashery Guild with my bespoke bunting
initiative. A most satisfying task. I confess my imported silks rather extended
the original, ridiculously modest, budget. Yet as I indicated to the High
Sheriff while declining a slice of mass produced cherry sponge at the Recycling
for the Over Eighties Awards, to be restricted by price is to renounce quality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Since then the village hall has overflowed with bobbins
and fabric. Indeed, I have been quite astonished at how the whirring of sewing
machines has rekindled fond memories of Nanny. How I used to revel in the
dexterity of her fingers when she laboured over the outfits I annually designed
for my china doll collection. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am gratified to note that even those less creative
ladies of the village have, with a degree of direction, contributed to the production.
Some, admittedly, have been restricted to administration. Nevertheless, box
labelling is a necessity if we are to keep track of bunting distribution.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have not been in a position to personally take on all quality
control. Pressing domestic commitments at Farthing Hall have taken precedence.
A couple of the helpers, however, once fully trained and instructed in
acceptable stitching techniques, have proved, well, acceptably useful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just a few hundred yards more and the agreed requisition will
be complete.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316189056247303164.post-12264290229864998532016-06-30T08:35:00.000-07:002016-06-30T08:35:00.912-07:00Summer Fetes, Backhanders and the Royal Box
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">My passion for, and commitment to, that most
quintessential English celebration which infuses my diary at this time of year
is well documented. And rightly so. I have been a regular attendee of The All
England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club since Papa first settled me on a velvet
seat in the Royal Box. He may have momentarily popped down to the locker room
to partake of a hand rolled Havanna or two with HRH, but his absence was
sufficiently lengthy for me to cultivate what quickly became a lifelong ardor
for backhanders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yet despite
my obligations, I have been obliged to return to The Hall where, with more than
a </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">soupçon</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> of displeasure, I find myself
undertaking crucial work for the Village Fête. It is all quite intolerable at such
a late stage. Indeed, the event may have been my inspiration but, really,
despite an initial and healthy burst of enthusiasm from the ladies of the
village, the Committee has dwindled to myself (Chair), the Deputy Librarian who
rarely attends our weekly meetings despite my frequent postal reminders, and
the local Meals on Wheels representative, who turns out to be more mince and
mash than scones and cream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>With
the celebration a mere two weeks hence, planning time is now of the essence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Immediately
after perusing today’s luncheon menu, therefore, I contacted a number of
potential benefactors to persuade them of our need for both quality and copious
raffle prizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forward to the
arrival of appropriate deliveries from my chosen donors. Heaven knows, if the
county’s Care Home is to stand the remotest chance of replacing those blemished
mattresses, generosity is paramount.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
subsequent task involved penning a note to the village school Headmistress
requesting further details of her somewhat courageous suggestion of a fancy
dress competition. There were mutterings, reported to me by Cook, that a
cluster of senior girls, overflowing with unregulated hormones, were contemplating
transforming the event into something akin to a St Trinians <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">débacle</i>. Clearly, there is no room in
village life for such outlandish behaviour. I shall do my utmost to ensure both
skirt lengths and conduct remain within the boundaries of polite society. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
far as catering is concerned, Farthing Hall will, of course, lead the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kitchen staff are fully aware of my
expectations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
a somewhat exhausting day, reasonable headway in both marquee <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">décor</i> and ticket design has, I believe, been
achieved. Barring any unforeseen hitches, I shall return to the Championships
after breakfast tomorrow. The Master is likely to accompany me. After all, there’s
nothing that satisfies him more than the occasional double handed lob.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
The Current Mrs Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04115183243205552996noreply@blogger.com0