Farthing
Hall’s Arts Extravaganza is under threat of infiltration by crocheted paper
handkerchief box covers of insipid hues. Such blandness wreaks of charity shop status.
Indeed, so does the telltale odour.
I might well have anticipated such influx. For recently,
whilst ordering a tin of ointment for The Master’s furuncle which has yet again
surrendered to unregulated distension, my attention in the pharmacy was
diverted by nearby mention of yarn remnants. I glanced around to witness a
couple of helpers from the Tea for the Retired Afternoon Club who were rather
too loudly vocalising their views. If only they embraced their washing up
duties with such verve. The topic of their excitement soon became apparent: Caring
for The County’s Women of Disrepute outlet’s box of random skeins. Leftovers
from indeterminate origins, I would say. The wool, if not those females whose
morals have long since deserted them.
It seems a number of other villagers
have also been making similar purchases. Their resultant lilac, pastel pink and
sky blue offerings are now littering my orangery. How they clash with the
Italian marble décor! I cannot imagine anyone yearning to purchase these items.
Yet nevertheless I am honour bound to coordinate a display. A discreet position
will be found where they will not distract those attendees - and there will be
a profusion - expecting quality works of art created by professional exhibitors.
To this end, I have been in touch
with creative groups throughout the county. Doubtless they are all eager to be
included in my exposition. The inspiration first presented itself during one of
our weekly Arts for the Gifted masterclasses, an initiative I established after
experiencing undue frustration on a previous course which, had I realised it came
under the jurisdiction of the Local Authority, would have been disinclined to
attend. However, at the aforementioned
masterclass, over a cup of Earl Grey with an accompanying Rich Tea biscuit
during a break in finalising my latest landscape, the Arts Extravaganza notion
presented itself.
I delayed not in undertaking the organisation.
A number of colleagues of similar artistic enthusiasm – though inferior
execution - were recruited.
I, of course, have undertaken the
bulk of the work. Catering and decor, sherry and canapés fall within my
jurisdiction. Artists and their agents similarly liaise directly with me. That
my pre dinner drinks were last night disturbed by a query over easel
positioning matters not. A little persuasion to call at a more reasonable time
- avoiding morning coffee, luncheon and afternoon tea – will surely be met with
consideration. That is, if they wish to remain part of this most prestigious
event.
